Savoring the Last Shot
by midnightzengarden
Summary: Fem!Shepard/Garrus-It has always been an awkward mating dance for Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian, but with the IFF now firmly in place, and the Mass 4 Relay looming just over the horizon, respect and loyalty have manifested into an intense and primal need. Takes place within canon during ME2. Rated MA for nudity and erotica.
1. Chapter 1

I felt like I had not showered in days. As I let the sting of the water pound away at the stress building up in between my shoulder blades I wondered, if I lived, how long it would be before the cybernetics hard-lined into my neuromuscular system fully began to integrate themselves. I had understood why it was necessary. I could only imagine what my remains must have initially consisted of, my corpse reduced to nothing but so much ash and bone as Feron collected my bits and pieces for the machinations of the Shadow Broker, but after only several months as a newly functioning member of society my body still felt, and looked, like it had been used as a BAaT traning mech.

Running my fingers along mounds of raised skin, I examined myself tentatively. The bright pink scars erratically crisscrossing my pale flesh still serving as a constant reminder that not all of me was still standard issue, "Commander Shepard." And though some of them were much lighter now, the ones running jagged along the peaks of my cheekbones still made their presence known in the form of a pulsing dull ache I could sometimes feel way down in to the very back of my jawline. It was truly official. No matter how much I wished for it to be otherwise, my nude form was definitely a diverse road map of imperfections. But, everything else considered, I supposed I did not look half bad for a dead woman.

Realizing I had already used more than my fair share of the hot water ration, I ended my short round of self evaluation to warily reach for a body towel. The heat emanating from its layers of loose synthetic weaves and padded energy coils eased my fatigued muscles as I fastened it tightly against my breast, my hair dripping down in cold streams along the crease of my back. I momentarily considered just stepping beneath the helm of the thermal drying capacitor, but in my current state of exhaustion I decided I would rather spend whatever time I may have left naked and wet than waste it standing another moment longer than I had to. My reflection, though partially clouded by the steam, seemed to silently agree with me. The dark circles under my eyes, and the worry lines etched deep along my forehead, made me look far older than my thirty-two years. I had consciously refused to tack on the additional two I had spent in a rehabilitative stasis even after I realized that no one else would ever do me the same courtesy. Still, if I could lose my crew and my ship without being consulted I felt like this was a small request in comparison. I only hoped that the crew of the Normandy SR-2 was not doomed to face a similar fate.

Wringing my hair in to the sink, I moved stiffly into my private quarters; the unread messages on my computer terminal flashing in a passive-aggressive greeting as I debated how urgently I really needed to check them. There were always going to be requests for more aid and distress signals so far along the outer rim that it would take me days just to discover their true source. With the IFF now firmly in place I could no longer spare the time or resources to try to arrange for any further assists. We only had a few hours to prepare for the inevitable. Just a few to come to peace with whatever might become of us all. And though I was not one generally prone to fatalism, the reality of the situation was such that it did not grant me any false sense of hope. I knew I was going to loose good men to this. Some of them were comrades I had come to care for a great deal. And one of them-It was only through luck and serendipity that I had managed to relocate him at all. I did not think if the worse came to pass that Cerberus would pay to bring me back yet a second time. No, whatever happened beyond the veil of the Mass 4 relay it would be permanent. I only hoped that I could deal with whatever consequences that implied.

Withdrawing deeper in to my well of inner doubts, a tall silhouette, of an obvious turian make, suddenly caught in my peripheral. There was only one man that would come up to my private chambers without needing to be directly invited to do so, though "man" was perhaps not the typical use of the term. He was no more human than the towel I instinctively clutched a little more tightly against my body.

"Garrus-"

He approached me haltingly, the predatory lines of his broad form very evident against the fitted structure of his Cerberus uniform; his frame becoming all sharp planes and hard angles as he moved in to view of the ships default ambient lighting. The look he gave me was both familiar and hesitant, each emotion broadcasting loudly through small eyes always a constant clear light and intense gray. But this time there was something else there, as well. Something deep and heavily guarded.

"It's ok, Garrus. Just talk to me..."

His maxilla,the paired appendages immediately just behind his squared mandibled jaw, began to flex randomly; his voice rich and guttural as he looked down at me. "I just need to know that this is the right thing...for both of us. If we do survive this little suicide mission of ours, I still want us to be able to face each other."

I allowed myself to close the small gap in-between us and raised my palm to touch his face. As the tips of my fingers moved to trail along the path of his own cybernetic scars, I paused at the feel of his skin; the scale plates there smooth and very warm to the touch. It was not all what I had been expecting.

"I would like us to be able to do much more than that." Due to our new proximity, his hands found tentative rest along my hips, his talons sharp as they indented against the material there. "I may not know everything about your people, but I do know you. If we can out maneuver the geth we should be able to navigate this. We aren't the first to try. There's vids...guides... I found a heavily detailed position chart on the extranet that downloads straight to the omnitool. It has built in three dimensional demonstrations. We can figure this out. Just think of it as scouting new terrain for future recon missions. I am as unsure of how to go about this as you are but I look forward to doing the field research. "

"Good to know... "His chest rumbled deeply against mine, and as he spoke I could suddenly tell the difference in the speech patterns between what he was saying and what the translator firmly placed within my inner ear was actually allowing for me to hear. "But, there is more to it than that, Shepard." He hesitated slightly before closing his eyes. "This...whatever it is... I need to know that we are both after the same thing. After leaving CSEC...after Sardonis...I am not sure I can stay objective."

As I watched his mouth move I realized how close it was to mine. I also realized that he was asking me what my intentions were. Though we had hinted and danced awkwardly around each other for weeks, we had never actually admitted to how either one of us really felt. Though it was obvious by his presence here that we had more than one goal in common, he and I deserved nothing if not the complete and honest truth. I only hoped that that honesty wouldn't be the catalyst for a rift I couldn't fix. After all, by the time this was all said and done I had no way to be sure if this was just about having someone I trusted come inside of me so I could temporarily feel alive and connected to this constant mortal coil-I had Kelly Chambers to thank for that uplifting theory-or if what I felt for him was a genuine, deep, life -altering, long term affection. I cared for him. I wanted him. But what did he want from me? I suddenly wanted to hold my gun. It was always easier to think when I had a gun...

"All I know, Garrus, is that one or both of us could die, tomorrow. Whatever happens out there, this is it. This is our last chance to come to terms with it. I feel like I should be face down on the floor praying to any God that will have me. That I should be going over schematics and battle strategies while I sit here alone and face my own mortality head on. But now, right now, all I can think about is you. What you'd feel like...what you'd taste like. And I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I'd let the reapers take at least half of the galaxy if I knew it would buy me the time it would take to give you whatever it is you need from me. I don't have all the answers. I probably don't even have half of them. But Im here and Im willing to give you whatever time I have left..."

When his mouth met mine it caught me temporarily off-guard and my hands instinctually moved to cling to the large scutes running parallel along his back. As my tongue darted lightly against the sharp predatory cut of his teeth, I felt where the heat of him began to pool at each point where our bodies now met. I had known logically for some time that turians ran several degrees warmer than most of the existing citadel races, but I had never had the opportunity to experience it tactically. It made me want to spread out beneath him and press myself so tightly against him that a geth heat scan wouldn't be able to tell us apart.

As his palms traveled uncertainly up the contours of my waist, I unhooked the body towel and reached down to guide his hands, lifting them slowly to fully cup my breasts. As his talons flexed they scraped suddenly against the sensitive skin surrounding my tiny upturned nipples and my head jerked back with a sharp intake of breath. I swallowed hard, moisture beading along my inner thighs as he kissed the hallow at the base of my throat; his mouth traveling to mark my neck with a delicate press of teeth.

"Who the hell have you been talking to, Vakarian?"

I unzipped his uniform and forced it past his carapace, helping him to work it past his shoulders and on to the floor.

"I promised Joker I wouldn't tell you."

"That sexual deviant?" I ran my knuckles along the thick skin in between the plates on his chest and smiled. "This ought to be interesting."

"Maybe I should let you do the driving..."

"Have you ever seen me with a mako?"

"Right...then promise me you'll be gentle. It's my first time."

And to that I said nothing. I was never one for making promises I knew I was incapable of keeping.


	2. Chapter 2

There was something almost savage about the way that I clung to him, something that flirted on the edge of desperate and slightly unhinged. I had often seen him in battle; watched him maneuver smoothly as he angled himself to zoom in for the kill. It had been that prowess that had kept him alive on Omega, but it was those reflexes that spun me now, pinning me beneath him on the bed as my pelvis lifted to grind roughly against him.

Even in the darkness I could see the glint of his eyes, sharp and intelligent as his crest spread to its full height; the rise and fall of his chest steady unlike the aroused panting that forced my breath out in short even measures. As he drew back, he ran his fingers down the length of my body, his gaze almost furtive as he watched my skin flush pink and pale against the darker texture of his own.

"You seem a lot smaller without armor," he said quietly.

Clad in Scorpion IV it was easy for me to appear formidable. Naked without anything else between us, I suddenly realized how very vulnerable I must seem to someone who was born clad in metallic plate.

"Afraid that you'll break me? These cybernetics should finally be useful for something. I'm sure it's all very heavily insured." I reached for his hand, licking his palm before slipping a talon in-between my lips, my tongue flicking against the delicate sensitive padding beneath. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back slightly, his jaw clenching and unclenching as I turned his hand to graze my teeth along the back of his wrist. "Maybe it is a hazard of the trade," I said," but I think I would prefer for it to hurt a little. It's too late for me to start playing it safe now. "

I pulled the full weight of him down, wrapping my legs around him as I felt the full pronged length of him rest in-between my legs. "Don't hold back,"I chucked my nose against his chin and brushed my lips against his cheekbone."I want you...I want this. I trust you."

As my hands slid around his shoulders I felt his reserve break, his teeth sinking in to the base of my neck as I bucked forcefully against him; the tip of him slipping inside of me as I dug nails in-between the scales of his back. As I writhed, he held me firmly in place,the adrenaline converting the sensation in to pleasure as he worried the skin; the deep throb of it finding residence within my lower back. Groaning, I rotated my hips, the technique guiding him fully inside of me as I arched to receive him; a small trace of blood winding down towards my collarbone from where he had managed to break the skin.

"You'll be the death of me, Shepard..."

Moving my pelvis in small circles to tease him, I grinned. "Do you want to stop?"

Slipping a hand beneath the small of my back, he pressed me against him and rolled me on top. "I can think of worse ways to die, and most of them already know you by name."

Planting my knees on either side, I leaned back to grab my ankles and balanced myself; my body gliding slowly back and forth as I worked to more easily accommodate him. As we found a comfortable poly-rhythm, I guided his hands to my hips, my fingers entwined with his as I pressed my thighs more securely against his own. This allowed me to achieve a deeper angle and it was immediately intense, my thighs trembling slightly as I licked my lips and swallowed hard. His presence within me had become a source of a constant and considerable heat and it was radiating throughout my entire lower body. It was not an unpleasant sensation.

Without dislodging him, I stopped to spread myself out fully against him and kissed his neck where it met his collar ridge. With my hands on his shoulders, I rolled onto my side and guided him with me, my legs slipping in-between his as I began to pivot my hips back and forth, sliding him in and out of me. Biting my lip, I drew his talons along the curve of my ass, inhaling sharply as they marked my skin. Noting my reaction he continued to trail along my side, clawing me until I jerked and cried out. In a quick gesture, he caught my chin and leaned in to kiss me, nipping at my neck and jawline before placing his mouth against mine.

As I wrapped my arms around him, he placed me on my back, thrusting in to me as I brushed my tongue brashly against his own. When he hit my cervix I took a sudden intake of breath and instantly tasted copper. I had been careful to avoid the unforgiving cut of his canines, but in that forgotten moment I had erred slightly. It did not seem that he had noticed, his mouth finding mine again as he moved against me. With the taste of my own blood still trickling along the very back of my throat, I felt myself begin to build. Forcing myself more rapidly against him, I ground my teeth, moaning through an orgasm that left a thin sheen of sweat glistening along my skin.

When at last my vision finally cleared, I found that he had purposely pulled away; his eyes closed as his breathing began to slow.

"You alright, soldier?"

He looked at me through half lidded eyes and gave me a tired half smile. "Never better. How are you holding up?"

I glanced at the seeping scrapes and unsightly bruises that were gradually appearing along the majority of my body and nodded approvingly. It had been a waged battle well won.

"You should see the other guy."

I embraced him, moving to shift my weight above him so that I could kiss a line down the center of his body, positioning myself in-between his legs before running my hands up along his sides. Working slowly, I guided my hands delicately along his pelvic plates, spreading them apart to nuzzle at the warmth hiding beneath. Stroking the protected length of him with my index finger, I coaxed him out into the palm of my hand, blowing lightly against the tender skin. Flicking my tongue along the tip of him, I closed my lips around him and drew him in until I could go no further; my hand moving to grasp the remainder of him to support my machinations. As I rotated my wrist in a small circular motion he cursed in English, talons tangling in my hair as my mouth and hand worked in unison. Licking at him I began to hum, feeling the vibrations along my fingertips as he arched in front of me. Deciding to tease him, I pulled my lips away,my hand gliding upwards before stopping for a moment and then going back down. Pausing at different intervals forced him to guess my next move and his claws began to flex sporadically against the sheets.

"Shepard..." He tried to move my hand away but I slid him back into my mouth, staying him for the moment; his head tilting back as I suckled at him. The caution in his voice had managed to curb my enthusiasm, however, and as his body began to tense I slipped away, my palm cupping him only a few mere seconds before he came.

Groaning against my hand, I watched as his skin mottled and went through several different patterns of pigment change; his maxilla flaring briefly before he all but collapsed.

" So- "I asked huskily, kissing the inside of his thigh before standing to stretch, "How's that for improvisation?"

He didn't respond but offered a two fingered gesture with his left hand, instead. It was one typically used in combat to signify to other turiant militants that everything was in the clear.

"Just checking..."

When I returned from my bathroom he was sprawled helter skelter across the full-length of the bed holding the cold damp remains of my thermal towel. "I liked this," he said, as he turned it this way and that, "It's not what I would recommend for short range combat, but...flattering."

"It came with the platinum incendiary ammo gift set. I'll get you one. That particular Elcor owes me a favor."

"Does it come in gun metal black? I'd prefer it to be tasteful."

"You bet your ass it does."

When I sat at the edge of the bed he joined me, dropping the accessory in question back on the floor. For a moment he just looked at me, rubbing at one of the more aggressive bruises on my inner thigh before sighing. "Do me a favor, Ceprah-"

The use of my first name had taken me aback. I had gotten to were I didn't even refer to myself by that name, anymore.

"-Try not to die on me, tomorrow. And I promise I'll try to keep what I have left of my face."

"It's a good face."

"It has gotten me this far. It's a shame I won't be allowed in to the 'Men of C-SEC' calendar this year. I'll have to find honest work, now. Maybe settle down...start a family."

I smiled,"Any decent prospects?"

"A few. I thought it would only be fair to let them work it out through hand to hand combat. The only other option would be to keep all of them."

"Why not? Plenty of Garrus to go around."

"Well, that's become the problem."

"Oh?"

"I've gotten distracted. It's getting harder to keep up like I use to."

"That is a problem."

"Right. So I was hoping to narrow it down a bit. Maybe to just...one or two."

"Seems reasonable."

"And since you're already here...and I'm here...I figured..."

"You figured why not me?"

"Why not? It makes a certain kind of since when you think about it."

"I don't know..." I feigned a look of reproach. "There are a lot of Drell still left on Kahje I haven't been introduced too, yet. I'd hate to limit myself."

"Sure. Or maybe you can just give me a couple of years and we'll get a drell as your next Yeoman. Kelly will want to move on eventually."

"The plan has potential."

"I thought so, too..."

When he pushed me back on to the bed to kiss me, I realized what I had allowed myself to do. I would take my chances with everything yet to come, and I would do it now with someone who had been there since the beginning. Someone that had known me before I was made in to an example not even I could live up to. Someone who had watched me come back from the dead in every way imaginable, and had still found the ability to trust me when trust was not something he was really willing to give at all. There was a comfort to that. And there was something else...a genuine desire to see this through. If fate saw it to let us both live, I was going to love this man. And that, even if I had had nothing else, was why the reapers had need to fear me. Because I would destroy them. I would destroy them and I would lie with him to make love in their ashes. And when a woman is that sure of something, only the devil may cry.


End file.
